this: know whats funny? it has never happened that when i have offered it, anyone has ever taken it. it being me, of course.
that: not ever??
this: never. no. my body yes. but not me. not my love. nope.
that: you secretly like the drama.
this: i make less than brilliant decisions.
that: its not bad decision making.... is it?
this: to love?
that: yeah. but love isnt a feeling.
this: its a decision. a choice.
that: right. i dont think youve decided badly this time.
this: i always associate it with surrender.
that: lol. it should probably be more mutual than that.
this: it makes sense this time.
that: i like her for you.
this: she's not having it. it being me.
that: she will. she's just afraid you'll change your mind and leave her stranded. be slow.
this: ok.
that: im happy to hear about this development.
this: that she wont have me? am i missing something?
that: no, i mean the entire you and michelle possibility.
this: our intensity matches. our timing doesnt tho.
that: true. but i really do think she's attached enough to you that she will come around.
this: we'll see.

me: i need a diversion.
him: im listening.
me: a boy maybe. know anyone? dinner. movie. a friend. im about to start making bad decisions.
him: i can always cheat on my wife. she likes you.
me: thanks babe. dont you guys know anyone?
him: you serious?
me: im serious!
him: i need to think about it. youre special.
me: ur sweet but im not that special.
him: yes you are. give me some time.
me: k.
him: i got someone but he's a tri guy.
me: a what?
him: tri athlete.
me: is that bad?
him: real athletic type.
me: thats hot! would he not like me? im kinda mushy.
him: no he digs nutrition and shit. i know he's older. think 38
me: what are u waiting on?
him: you know, a couple of guys are coming to mind.
me: oh good! lets go on a date. pick me out a boy.
him: u know u should have just married me. you would have been golden.
me: u would have hated being married to me, but yeah i would have been lucky.
him: wtf are you talking about!? i'll see what i can do.
me: k. soon tho. really. ur da bomb.

thing1: i had a crappy date last night. i wasted chanel, victoria's secret, and a very painful pedi on nothing. that shouldnt happen.
thing 2: why did you do all that for a date, girl?
thing 1: it was all for _____. but it was wasted. leopard panties and chanel kisses.
thing 2: ive never done that even for someone i actually like. ha! you should have been given diamonds and kissed from head to toe for four hours straight!
thing 1: i need a diversion.
thing 2: where to & with whom? or alone?
thing 1: i need to not think about _____. i need to not think about being her dirty little secret.
thing 2: you are only a secret if you accept that role, love.
thing 1: thank you voice of reason. this is why i need a diversion. i like dirty secrets but i dont wanna be one.
thing 2: dirty secrets are ones like... you know... that time i ____ed your ____ while you were _______.
thing 1: (gasp)
thing 2: THAT is the only dirty secret you need.
thing 1: i secretly loved that. like, ALOT.
thing 2: and you know i loved it too. except i "secretly" wanted you to take it ____.
thing 1: i kinda knew that. :)
thing 2: gurl, what kind of leopard panties you got? dont you need to take some photos?